Microfiction: Winning the Lottery
Drabble version (100-words):
Winning the Lottery
I cannot believe it. I am matching the number on my ticket with the numbers for this year's $1 million dollar lottery drawn. It matches. It perfectly matches. Thoughts on what I do next flood my head.
"Should I quit my job?"
"Should I buy a Ferrari, a house, pay of my loans? I can even do all three!"
I rush outside after getting dressed preparing to redeem the prize. I ran outside to my car when all of the sudden...I woke up.
Dribble version (50-words):
Winning the Lottery
I cannot believe it. I actually won the lottery. My heart is pounding and my mind is flooded with thoughts on what I should now do with my life.
I get dressed and run outside to redeem my prize. I started running when all of the sudden... I woke up.
Author's note: I would say this story would make the reader really sad in the end. It's inspired by all the times you had a wonderful dream that you would kill for it to be true, but then have it all crushed when you realized it is only a dream. To the readers of this microfiction, I am sorry.
Hi Amy!
ReplyDeleteI loved your dribble and drabble (lol) microfictions. It really is so disappointing to be experiencing the most amazing feeling in the world only to wake up and realize it was all a dream. Even though these two microfictions cover the same thing, I love that you kept some consistency in the actual wording by having the first and last sentences of each story the same. I thought that was very smart and tied the stories together very well, especially since the dribble version had to be so condensed and therefore lost a lot of that detail. Also, side note: your author's note was very funny. I had a good laugh when I read it.
Hi Amy! Dang I was so happy for the character in this story and then you just crushed their dreams and mine. I think what stood out to me most was how you were able to condense an already incredibly short story without completely loosing any of the feeling. I feel like I was let down twice! My advice would be that you could maybe add some more description or details in the first story because you have 50 extra words to work with. This could look like saying where they are. Are they alone with their thoughts or are they watching the lottery numbers at a bar (see this in movies a bit) where they are rushed by people with excitement but they get lost in their head with thoughts of what to do next with the money. This could help really immerse the reader into your story and make them feel as if this is happening to them just like the dreams you describe in your authors note! Overall nicely done and funny little comment in your author's note.
ReplyDelete